I figured out a long time ago that my ex-boyfriends’ interest in feminism and in protecting the rights of women was always conditional. Any time we discussed feminism, which was often, there was a clear lack of understanding and comprehension on their side - but I persevered nonetheless, believing I would eventually discover some untapped source of empathy and a capacity to want to help. I never did find it.
What I did find, however, was that the moment we broke up a very interesting thing would happen. Suddenly, women were “bitches” and “cunts” deserving of male wrath, and that the world was “unfairly prejudiced towards men”. I found that their interest in feminism had suddenly evaporated, very coincidentally along with my presence in their life, and that in its place was a raw animosity towards women that frightened me to my core.
It was only then that I realized that their interest and belief in the liberation of women had very little to do with a genuine concern for women’s safety, and everything to do with our romantic life. They wanted to please me and placate me by pretending that they actually cared about women, when in fact all they cared about was me - or at least, the access they had to my body. They knew I would no longer want to be involved with them if they did not support feminism, and god forbid if they were an anti-feminist. They showed their true colours when they realized that the possibility of us ever being together again was non-existent.
There are certainly men in existence who genuinely care very deeply for women and unfailingly support and understand the important of feminism, but they are very few and very far between. Please remember that the majority of men do not care, and that their seemingly steadfast support for women is more than likely contingent upon their ability to gain access to you and other women’s bodies.